Mother- In- Law Vent. Tips for a Mother- In- Law about to become a Grandmother for the first time: (Ladies: Have your Husband email this to his mother! See email link below)Dear Mom/Mother- In- Law/Grandma to be: You have successfully raised your own children and are excited to be a grandmother. You know what you are doing and you want to help. When you become a parent, you don't leave your brain in the delivery suite. That's why mothers with kids of all ages come to themotherish.com; because they're still.Just be careful to remember that this blessed event isn’t about you as a new Grandmother, it is about the new Mom and Baby (and OK the Daddy). While they need help, they also need space. They need time to bond, to establish their own routines and to gain confidence as parents. Try to remember what it was like for you as a new mom – the exhaustion, the hormones, how vulnerable you felt. Style, beauty, love, and everything in between. Whether you wanna look feminine or badass, there's something for everyone. What would you have liked her to do differently? In sum, the best thing you can do is to offer help, bite your tongue, and wait until you are asked. Some (but few!) new Moms are quite relaxed and want their MIL to participate heavily. But, better to err on the side of caution and follow these hints: Do not expect (nor ask) to be invited into the labor room, it is a private moment and many don’t feel comfortable sharing it with their Mother- In- Law. Your Daughter- In- Law may feel tremendous pressure to clean the house for you, when all she wants to do is take a nap and perhaps cry in a hormonal meltdown! Offer to visit whenever it is convenient for the new parents. Offer to stay at a hotel, friend or relatives’ house. Do not assume that there is room for you at their home. Do not offer to stay on the couch or floor, as new moms often need their living room at 3am Unless you are specifically asked to stick around longer to help with the newborn, offer to keep your first visit short (e. Most, but not all, women feel more comfortable with their Mothers than their Mother- In- Law. Do not expect equal access. This is unfortunate, but a fact of life for most MILs. If you are lucky enough to have a daughter, perhaps you will have more access to the birth of her children. It is OK to offer to get up in the middle of the night with the baby, but don’t be offended if the new Mom doesn’t want you to. Search the history of over 298 billion web pages on the Internet. She is likely awake anyway if breastfeeding, and may not want to make small talk with her MIL in the middle of the night when she is exhausted. Try not to be offended – we know you are offering to help. Never feed a newborn without specific permission. Mom is likely trying to establish her breastfeeding milk supply and/or get the baby on a schedule. This makes new Moms crazy! Know that nearly everything has changed since you had your babies. This included breastfeeding v. Do not wait to be asked, as your Daughter- In- Law may feel uncomfortable asking you to do housework. Offer to baby- sit while the new Mom and Dad go out for a quick bite between feeds. No one wants to be a despised Mother- In- Law. Remember, you are setting the precedent for a lifelong relationship with your grandchild and daughter- in- law.
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August 2017
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